my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
That’ s not just in Australia. I live in the Netherlands, and birds, especially magpies and jackdaws, attack humans (and cats and dogs) here as well, during the breeding season. There’s reports of injuries in the news every year. Authorities generally just advise people to avoid their territories (which can be hard, given that they often breed in the middle of towns). Swans and geese are notorious attackers too.
Unrelated to that, and returning to the original bird-trough-the-window-story: my sister once watched how a big duck flew through one of the windows of our living room. It was closed and shattered in the process. The duck landed on the couch shat all over it, and then made himself comfortable. My mother had been overworked and down for a while at the time, so my sister worried how she would take this and wanted to clean up the mess before she got home. She failed to catch the bird, however, and just got feathers and more shit everywhere. Luckily my mother didn’t break down. Somehow, the sight of my highly frustrated sister standing in a living room covered in glass fragments, birdshit and feathers with a duck happily strutting around gave her a laughter attack.